"Holy Family Day - Holy Innocents Day" - December 28, 2008

"All families are dysfunctional," said Father Tom Belczak in his homily today. His point is that if we truly believe that Jesus is God became man, then, we also believe that "The Holy Family" was fashioned and behaved like all families do. Like all families, there were good times as well as bad times, failures and successes, always bound with love.

All my life, I have longed for family. Family became an obsession as well as a compulsion - always with my eye on the ideal! I feel rather foolish but I continue to connect and search as well as love.

I have my blood families - my mother's side: Rivera, Montecillo, de la Cruz (Lola Bette is a de la Cruz from Kalibo, Aklan), Menchavez, Elliott, etc., my father's side: Rojo, Oro, Loyola, etc., my children's side: Rankine, Ouellette, Fitch, etc.

I have my family of choice. Folks I care for very much; folks I felt cared for me very much; folks I came to know and love through the years from Catmon to Vallejo to Naha to Paducah to Long Beach to Christchurch to Ejido Rancho Nuevo and Ejido Santa Maria to Garden City, Plymouth, Livonia and Northville, to San Francisco and the Bay Area; folks who allowed me the privilege of sharing joys and tears, struggles and successes.

Most of all, folks who have accepted me and allowed me to be - no apologies, no conditions, no judgment,no punishment, no regrets, no retributions.

I am very blessed. May you be blessed also. I thank you all for being my family!

I wish you all a "Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year!"

A Prayer for a New President and a New America

by Shane Claiborne
http://www.sojo.net/blog/godspolitics/?p=3639


God of Abraham, Miriam, Hannah, Rizpah, and David...
God of Elijah, Amos, Ruth, Isaiah, Deborah...
God of Mary, John the Baptizer, Peter, Paul, Philemon and Onesimus...
God of Anthony, Ambrose, Dirk Willems, Teresa of Avila, and Francis of
Assisi,
God of Dorothy Day, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, William
Wilberforce, and Oscar Romero
and God of love, grace, and hope...

Thank you for creating a perfect world.
Forgive us for the mess we have made of it.
Thank you for creating Jubilee, gleaning, and Sabbath as patterns to
ensure that the poor are cared for, the earth rests, and inequality is
dismantled.
Forgive us for choosing the patterns of empire.
Thank you for using the weak things to shame the strong and the
foolish things to confound the wise.
Protect us from becoming too strong or too wise.
Protect us from ourselves.

Forgive us...
for the groaning of creation
for the millions who die of hunger and curable diseases
for warehousing people in prisons and using them for labor
for the scandal of billions wasted in war
for worrying about tomorrow and storing up more than this day our
daily bread
for an economy that mirrors the seven deadly sins
for our Caesars and our Herods
for the violence and greed in our own hearts
Save us from ourselves.

Deliver us...
from the arrogance of power
from the myth of redemptive violence
from the tyranny of greed
from the ugliness of racism
from false hope and counterfeit change
from the cancer of hatred
from the seduction of wealth
from the idolatry of nationalism
from the paralysis of cynicism
from the ghettoes of poverty
from the ghettoes of wealth
from the blood-stained pages of history
and from the legacy of slavery.
Deliver us oh God.

Give us the courage...
to bless the poor in a world that blesses the middle class.
to bless the meek in a world that admires aggression.
to bless the hungry in a world that feeds the already fed.
to bless the merciful in a world that shows no mercy on evildoers.
to bless the pure in heart in a world of clutter and noise.
to bless the peacemakers in a world that baptizes bombs.

Give us imagination...
that we might not conform to the patterns of this world.
that we might shatter indifference and interrupt injustice with grace
that we might choose the cross over the sword
that we might be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves
that we might consider the lillies and sparrows as they shame Wall
Street's splendor
that we might choose the dream of God over the dreams of nations
that we might cling to the God that so loved the world, not just America
that we might allow our Jesus to change America rather than America to
change our Jesus.

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.

To My Family

" I believe that to meet the challenges of our times, human beings will have to develop a greater sense of universal responsibility. Each of us must learn to work not just for oneself, one's own family or nation, but for the benefit of all humankind. Universal responsibility is the key to human survival. It is the best foundation for world peace". Dalai Lama

My sentiments exactly. I lifted this quote from a new friend I acquired in "Facebook". It is great that I am able to connect to a lot of my relatives in this great social network, the added freindships are a bonus.

I have not posted for a long, long time. I continue to be very, very busy; mostly doing things to meet the challenges the Dalai Lama spoke about. I want to set a good example to the young ones, I want the elders to be proud of me.

I love what I am doing! I hope to continue "doing" after I retire - I am getting there soon, if I ever retire. I have joined the "Lion's Club". I will be inducted in two weeks and received my first pin from another club yesterday.

On the downside, the doing leaves very little time for "being" - for taking care of Ethna Maria (yes, in my heart I am Ethna Maria Montecillo). Case in point, I was sooo busy last week, that my car is sitting at the Madonna University parking lot. My friend Larry told me that it was on empty last Wednesday.

Because it is the first week of the semester, I have not been able to make it home until at least 8:00 PM. No cash in my pocket and have not been able to make it to the bank. So when I left last night at 6:00 PM - the car stopped and the banks were closed. My friend Ray Gulley brought me home. Thank God, I have some wonderful friends.

I walked to church today - I could use the exercise for sure! Northville is a great walking town - unusual for suburban Detroit. After church, I decided to stop at the library - half way between my house and church - gave me a chance to rest and check Facebook and post.

That is how I found this quote that I lifted from the page of a new friend, based in Washington DC.

I love you family - take of each other as well as the other folks around you! May God Bless You Always!

Ilaya - Illahee (Il-ah-ha-he-ye)

Titi Bebeng gave me this photo the last time I was in Catmon. I am sure that almost all of the young ones have grown up. Hope some members of the family have a chance to read my posts and send me family updates with updated photos.



Lola Sayong was always in charge of dishing out the rice at "family gatherings" in Catmon; Tata Batyong was the "Cucinero" or "Chief Cook!" Pity, I can not find my pictures of Tata.

Ilaya is one of my favorite hang outs when I was growing up. The English translation of illahee (Il-ah-ha-he-ye) is "land that gives comfort." It is a word used by one of the indigenous First Nations tribe in the Pacific northwest, around Vancouver, British Columbia. The word struck a chord because of the close pronunciation to ilaya as well as the approximate meaning of the word.

When I think of ilaya - I think of cool comforting afternoon breeze, the soothing sound of the river and lots of "fun stuff" to do! An added attraction for me was playing with Lucia and the other Molde girls at the house of Tata Batyong and Lola Sayong.

Going to Ilaya was very comforting for Lola and me. Comforting to her because of her promise to Lolo Milong to take care of the "Kalubihan" and his children. I was very disappointed on my last trip that the property have lost it's soul - very derelict and empty. It broke my heart! I spent a lot of time in the summer planting bananas, coconuts and smoking the tambis trees, clearing around the "sabana" trees and just clearing, clearing, clearing!

The first house was close to the river, not far from the Talisay tree at "labangon" in Lolo Teyoy's property. The house use to have this lime tree (suwa) that we used to pick when we washed our hair in the river. That house was destroyed by a typhoon; so Tata Batyong and Lola Sayong moved to Lola Elyang's house at the other end of the property.

The hair washing routine included grating the coconut (Kudkud) to get the milk out. The coconut milk is then used to wash our hair with the lime juice. Sometimes Lola Sayong would pound some kind of root from a tall grass (tangad???) and mix it in. I had very long hair. Talking about fragrant, well conditioned hair - all organic, too!

Finding this picture of Lola Sayong made me think of the house and the "snug fit" it had against the hill side. We used to go out in the back and try to find guavas or just to climb up the hill. At night some of our covers were made of "saguran."

Comforting because the food was always great - fresh utan, fresh fish when Tata was able to catch them - especially the red ones. Lola Sayong always had a variety of foods that I would otherwise not have tasted or have known the origin - like "landang", a salad made of banana hearts with coconut milk dressing and "atsal."

Uy, I was in San Francisco a couple of years ago and Nanay served "atsal" - I said this is Lola Sayong's recipe - where did you get it? Sure enough, the "atsal" was made by Juliana Molde. I think I can identify Lola Sayong's "templa" of that "atsal" anywhere.

Easter Celebration Menu

The Children's Table










Donna and Frank hosted the family party in their home in Sterling Heights.

As a family, we try to have a get together as often as we can - we have such very hectic schedules so everyone contributes to the menu.

We had the following:

Lauren: Anti pasto Salad and Green Bean Casserole
Nicole: Chocolate Fountain with Fruits and Snacks; Drinks
Julie: Italian Breaded Chicken
Karen: Fresh Kielbasa Sausage, Mixed Vegetables and Steamed Green beans w/ Almonds
Edna: Pancit and Deviled Eggs
Donna: Roasted Chicken, Three Cheese Macaroni and Cheesy Potatoes, Bread
Mom Gladys: Better Than Sex Cake and Cherry Cheesecake
Larry: Yellow Cream Cake

The Babies I Left Behind

This is Roy D. Montecillo's family in New Jersey. We reconnected on Facebook.

Titi Bebeng's eldest son was my first baby in Catmon. I felt very special when Titi Bebeng took me to Southern Islands Maternity Hospital to pick Tia Moning and Baby Roy. We drove to Catmon in this huge car. I must have been 10 years old. I just started hanging out at Tata Batyoung and Lola Sayong's house after Roy was born.

I love babies - after Roy, there was Lloyd - Tio Inteng and Tia Quiling's son; then there was Eva and Eunice - Tia Evangeline's daughters.

Gosh, I am showing my age, aren't I?

2008 - Easter Pictures

Gina and Lauren



Joey and Gino Patrick - Joey is Julie's son and Gino is Gina's son



Lauren, Nicole and Gabriel



Frank and Garrett



Donna's Boys - Garrett and Brandon



Mina (Nicki's eldest),Shelby and Megan (Gina's girls), Alexander (Nicki's youngest) Dominic




Donna and Julie

Lola Ilyang, Lolo Isyong, Mama Teresa and Family

This picture was taken before Mama left for the US in 1953. One of the few pictures where you see us together.

This photo was taken, when we were part of the "living rosary" - for Cardinal Midzenti and celebration of "Cristo Rey" ???? Cardinal Midzenti was the first cardinal to visit Cebu and the Philippines. The visit was a very big deal for Cebu.

This is truly a family photo for me - with Manoy Aliado, Ingko Tony, Inday Tanciang and Amy. Growing up, I have always thought of the four of them as my brothers and sisters.

I still remember the times spent at the "barberia" in Cebu City - the games, the fights, the fun!

And typhoon Amy - our bus was stuck in Basak or Binongkalan - we found refuge in this small house on the side of the hill. Lola Ilyang was taking all four of us to Catmon. No easy feat as Ingko Tony and I were sort of "precocious." The next morning because the fallen trees blocked the road, so we had to walk all the way to Poblacion. Somewhere along the line Titi Bebeng and Mama caught up with us. We, the children, took turns riding on Titi Bebeng's bike.

As a teenager, Manoy Aliado and Ingko Tony were always there for me - with advice, a helping hand, some comforting words and the occasional well deserved reprimand. I am so lucky to have grown up with such wonderful older brothers. Inday Tanciang was great company and playmate.

And lots of novenas, rosaries and prayers with the "olds" - Lola Sana, Lola Ebeng, Lola Ciana, Nanay Emang and of course, Uray Tilde!

Remembering the "torta making marathon" during the holidays and special occasions and thinking about the delicious smell that floated up to the room where we slept still make my mouth water. I loved my turns in pulling the ropes to stir the mixture - all those eggs. Then there's the hope that the "magical ovens" fired by "bunot" would burn some so we can eat them.

The recipe was guarded like magic potion.

It is comforting to know and think that Manoy Aliado continues to be the Manoy Aliado I know as a child in the roles he has assumed with the family. As Ingko Tony continues to be Ingko Tony for me. He seemed to know so much about science stuff!

When I lived with Tita Remy and Tio Dodo - Amy always doted on me like a younger sister. Although, I was older than she is, I learned plenty from Arminda.I used to feel so bad and useless when I saw her preparing my water for baths.

I was so spoiled.

They all made me feel very special - when I look at this photo now - I am thanking God that they are in my life - such a blessing! I just want them to know how much I love them!

Tia Ulding, Lola Conching, Lola Bette and Lola Dada

This is a photo taken at one of the Catmon fiesta celebrations in the San Francisco Bay Area. Haven't attended too many of those, since we moved from California. In the picture are Tia Ulding, Tia Azon (Davao Montecillo)and Tia Loleng Menchavez Jurbina.

Thought it would be fun to see how much Tia Ulding have changed through the years. Caught a glimpse of her through Mecmec's Catmonanon website - "Sinugat."

If you see her, tell her I do love her and think a lot about her still!


I am not sure when this photo was taken - my favorite women role models are in it.

Lola Conching was the best - loved staying in the Cebu City with her. She took me everywhere - Sanciangko to get "chitcharon" - T-Padilla and Carbon Market to find fresh crabs - yum!

Lola Dada was always down to earth - loved hanging out at their small store, next to Tita Uping's house. She had one of the best "Padaygon" during Christmas time.

Tia Ulding - I miss her a lot. She is the reason why I am an avid environmentalist. She used to take me to get "daphnia" to feed her fish at the Biology lab at the University of the Visayas. She took me to the university a lot of times and let me hang out with her and the students. She always took time to answer my botany and biology questions - prepared me for Mr. Belarmino plus...

Lolo Milong, Uncle Junior and Dad Elliott

Lolo Milong and Daddy



Lolo Milong and Uncle Junior



Uncle Junior and Daddy



Lolo Milong and his friend Man Yanong Nuneza

Like I said before, I knew very little about him. I visit his grave at Mt. Olivet Cemetery twice a year and have conversations with his spirit. I always tell him how much Lola loved him and how she missed him. He died in November, 1953.

I thought I would post some of the pictures that Jewel Nuneza sent me. I am forever grateful to her for sharing these photos. I hope and pray that we would connect face to face one day. There is so much I would like to know about Lolo Milong.

Apparently Man Yanong Nuneza was one of Lolo Milong's best friends. He lived with the Nuneza family for a long time until he died.

All three - Lolo Milong, Daddy and Uncle Junior are now gone - I do miss them, miss what was and who they were to me and what might have been - if our stories had a differnt plot.

The Mysterious Lola Bette

All my life, I have had to answer questions about Lola Bette. Questions were asked when I was growing up in Catmon, prying questions raised by family and friends. According to Lola Bette "the only people you need to let into your life are those who accept you unconditionally - the true sign of kinship is unconditional acceptance and love."

It was a bit confusing since she also told me to "treat everyone who crossed my path well, because they could be Jesus or angels sent Jesus and gifts from God."

Lola Bette carried a lot of scars and anger in her; along side her kind and grieving heart. I would often wake up in the middle of the night and find her crying softly and smoking by the window. Sometimes she would speak of her loneliness, of cruelties inflicted on her - mostly gossip; of her fears current, past and future, of her love for Lolo Milong, of their separation, of raising her children alone in Catmon, of her children abandoning her, of strength and survival, not depending on anyone!

I grew up steeped with stories of the Detroit of her youth. She was brought to Michigan by Uncle Albert Martileno and Uncle Leo Concepcion??? She grew up with Uncle Leo's children - Bobby and Mona. She called Uncle Leo's wife, Ma (Polish I think???)

Lola spoke about their escapades in Belle Isle and the Detroit River, of train rides and street cars. One time, she got very mad at me because I couldn't remember the name of her favorite melon - a green melon called "honeydew."

We went to see her relatives in Bogo at least twice a year. I was never allowed to tell or talk about them in Catmon. Nanay Candi was one of her aunts from her mother's side, I think.

When we visited, they would reminisce and speak their own Panay dialect. They were from Kalibo - now in Aklan province. They also have relatives in Estancia - a fishing village, not far from Kalibo.

For years, I spent part of my summers in Bogo - mostly the whole month of April with Tia Aning and Tio Pablo Ramel. They usually brougth me back on May 1st - Lola's birthday! They had a store at the market. I played with their children: Vic, Nene (Teresita) and Mila. Mila was my age. Sometimes we helped with the store, but mostly we played at home under the watchful eye of Nanay Candi. Nanay Candi was a Grencio by marriage???

Sometimes Tio Piping Morales' family would come to Bogo - first from Bohol, where he was the postmaster in Tagbilaran, later from Mabolo, when he became postmaster in Cebu City. Tio Piping was Nanay Candi's eldest son. Except for Elenita who was much older than we were, the four of us girls (Carmen, Nene, Mila and myself) would sleep in the floor in one room.

I spent a lot of time with the Morales' in Mabolo when I was in college in San Carlos. Had a fairly close relationship with his youngest daughter Carmen. In Mabolo, they lived down the street from Lolo Inteng and Lola Pacing Montecillo. Nene and Hope were very close friends. We were all at USC. Too bad I lost track!

We've had a few visitors from Lola's family in Panay - I can barely remember them - there was a Henry and a Virgie. The one who visited most and spent the most time in Catmon, was Tio Tonying Sioco. He was a high school teacher in either Kalibo or Estancia.

My mother is the only one who had ever spent time in Kalibo and make other family connections. She made several trips to Kalibo, when she was working on Lola Bette's social security papers. Lola's sister and her family came to visit when Mom, Dad and Donna lived in Cavite. Somehow, we also missed that chance of connection.

Making sure that Lola was taken care of was an obsession for our mother, Teresa - from Social Security pension to making sure that Lola had adequate housing. She did not leave the Philippines until the house she was building for Lola was done. Unfortunately, she paid very dearly for the decision to stay.

She told me that if she died - she will die in peace because she took care of her mother. I think she continued to crave for Lola's approval to the end.

The Last Two Weeks

Baaaaad Cold and Cough

Am not feeling too well - coughed all night. Leto brought me over to stay with Lauren. Gives me a chance to reflect on the past couple of weeks, while allowing my body to recover. Must remind myself that I am not longer 17 years old - it is just that, I see too many things that need doing and not too many folks stepping up to the challenge.

My Life Space: "Who is supposed to be here is here; what is said is what needs saying; the flow of conversation is the right flow; when the conversation is over, it's over - but it really nevers stops; a new conversation is started somewhere - life goes on!"

The past two weeks were punctuated with very hectic and intense days.

Two Weeks Ago

On the Rojo side, the conversation regarding Tatay and Nanay's 60th Wedding Anniversary celebration have started. The date is set for a June 28th ceremony and lunch reception. A lot of logistics to be taken care of such as venue, cost, guest lists and program. Coordination is a nightmare/daydream depending on perspective - the immediate family alone number over 100 - 13 children, their children and grandchildren spread in five states.

A great population study - so family demographers and sociologists, pay attention!

On the Montecillo side, working the logistics of Emily's visit was something else. Made me reflect on the choices I have to make and time management. Family is most important.

First Week - February 3 - 9

Tried to get as many things done in preparation for my trip to the conference at Central Michigan University in Mt. Pleasant. Left Northville on Wednesday at 6:45 AM for Mt. Pleasant. We had snow flurries when we left but as we passed Lansing the snow fall became thicker and thicker, travel became slower and slower.

Got in late to the Environmental Solutions Summit. Learned a lot about what we can all do for our and our children's survival, about the interdependence of everyone and everything, methods and models of teaching communities about caring for the environment. Great stuff!!!

After the Summit,we discovered that the CMU campus was closing at 4:00 PM due to the snow storm. There were white out conditions in certain places and snow was falling at a much faster clip than what was possible to keep the roads clear.

Inched back to our hotel, attended the "Learn and Serve" reception that evening - grateful, that the evening reception was held at our hotel. At the reception, it was decided that we were going ahead with the conference anyway - since we were stuck there - our original venue, Central Michigan University was closed, the following day also.

The snow fall around our hotel measured 18 inches so we were snowed in: chucked the original conference agenda and made our way through. As community service/service learning folks, we pride in our resourcefulness and resilience.

Thank you Michigan Campus Compact and Michigan Community Service Commission for a great Service Learning Institute.

Got back to the Madonna University campus on Friday afternoon at around 4:30 PM. Checked mail and then went home to dress for the First Step Charity Ball at 6:30. It was a "black tie event" - so I wore a nice pants suit, wore heels and put make up on. The tickets to attend the ball was pricey at $75.00 each.

Have to admit, it felt good to dress and it lifted my spirits. Sold raffle tickets to benefit First Step and was on my feet all night on high heels - quiet a contrast from the snow boots and all the sitting I did the previous two days. Had fun flirting and cajoling folks to buy tickets - it was for a good cause.

Saturday morning, I was up and around early, took students to sort food for distribution to the homeless and hungry at Gleaners' Commnity Food Bank. Spent the night at Lauren's.

Could barely move on Sunday, took Dominic to church, put a turkey in the oven for Larry and Don; laid on Lauren's couch all day drifting in and out of sleep! Thought about Catmon fiesta all day! Wished I was in Catmon to celebrate!

One Week Ago

Had two Student Government Association meetings scheduled on Monday. Worked in a get together with Emily, Donna and Leto in between meetings. Leto treated us, to the always delicious and great American cuisine lunch at Zingerman's Roadhouse. If you ever find yourself in Ann Arbor - get a meal at Zingerman's Roadhouse - you will keep going back! Love their Sweet Potato Frecnh Fries!

It was great to see Emily - it is never enough time. Really enjoyed the company. She promised to come back!

Had meetings on Tuesday - a new snow storm hits our area - I was on campus until about 10:00 PM. Tried to let the storm pass. Recruited Lauren to buy the ingredients for chicken adobo for the International Festival on Wednesday.

Because the roads were not cleared in most places - it took me almost 35 minutes to get home (10 minutes under normal conditions)and 1 hour and 15 minutes to get to Lauren's house (35 mintes max under normal conditons.) Got to Lauren's at quarter past midnight or early Wednesday morning. Got up at 6:30 and started cooking 103 pieces of chicken adobo. Was at the International Festival at 11:00 - all went well.

Now, it is Thursday, Valentines Day. Altin went with me to pick up the roses at 9:00 AM - a fundraiser for Alternative Spring Break - South Carolina - our rural ASB experience. Need to raise at least $300.00 for gas alone. The sale was a success - did not get home until 10:45 PM - after a very long day.

Friday morning, I "lolly-gagged" in bed; cold started to set in - got into the office at around 11:00 Am - had a planning meeting with the group going to Mexico with me in May - have to start fundraising. Trying to keep the cost down to $500.00per student.

Got caught up with e-mail - personal and professional. It looks like the venue and menu for the Rojo 60th Anniversary celebration is pretty much settled. It was a choice between Grosvenor, Best Western and Sheraton - it looks like Sheraton won. So now the counting and saving of pennies begins.

Saturday morning, I stopped by campus to see if I have any students for Habitat - no one was there. Feeling lousier and lousier. The weather warming up have not helped. Picked up Leto in Ann Arbor then Manny in Detroit to hang out at Lauren's. Took Manny and Dominic to Border's Bookstore and Target.

Have no energy to take them to Ann Arbor;so I gave Leto the car and I slept on and on both Saturday and Sunday.

Today is Monday, I called in sick - because tomorrow is Wellness Day and as the MU Wellness coordinator, I have to be there.

By the way - it is starting to snow again - we are expecting an inch or two by this evening - ahhhh, Michigan weather.

Emily's Visit - No Pictures - Forgot the Camera

Well, Emily, Donna and I connected on Friday, February 8; but did not get to see each other until Monday, February 11th. Had a lot of things going on my plate, collapsed after church on Sunday.

Talked to Donna a lot and Emily as well, - when I could. Stayed at Lauren's house for some TLC. John is a good cook and Dominic always, always cheers my spirits.

Donna and Emily came to the university on Monday. We stole away to Ann Arbor - taking one car so we can all talk. It was great fun to get caught up with each other. Leto joined us in Ann Arbor and treated us to a great lunch.

Haven't had a face-to-face visit with Emily for a while - I think our paths crossed in San Francisco a few years ago. We try to maintain contact through e-amil and Facebook. Thank goodness for the new technologies!

It was just so great to see her in person. We talked about history (both family and national history) after all - national history is a compilation of individual and family histories. Talked at length about our family - how much it has grown and expanded, the efforts to preserve legacy and of course who's who. Talked about Mecmec's project and website getting the family connected.

I am currently gathering photos - have some restored but restoration proved to be very expensive - so it is a very slow process.

Of course, in the excitement, none of us remembered to bring our cameras.

The Young Ones

Gervacio (Tata Batoy or Tata Batyong)

Tata Batyong was the greatest - he used pull my chains a lot - Lola Sayong would reprimand him and tell him not to joke with me so much. He taught me how to plant sugar cane, coconuts and bananas. He said - "if you don't work, you don't eat."

Before the pipes were extended to reach them, we use to carry water from a well by the river - all they way to their house by the hillside. We used bamboo tubes (sag-ub)to carry water. I always forgot to lower the tubes gently, when we rested - bump and the tube is broken, precious water gushing all over the place.

Well, I broke a lot of "sag-ub" - to a point that I became exempt from fetching water. The water was stored in great big clay crock jars. The water stored in those jars always tasted much sweeter to me. He loved to fish and he loved to cook.

Protacio (Uncle Tacio)

My sister Donna and I are the only ones who really got to know Uncle Tasio. He lived in a farm house camp in Knightsen, California. He also liked to cook and fish like Tata Batyong.

He worked very hard - part of the huge "stoop labor" force in the farms that provide the food served in most American tables and restaurants to this day. He remained a bachelor until he died. He never made it back to Catmon.

Both Tata Batyong and Uncle Tacio are listed in the United States census of 1930 as residents of Wayne County - Detroit is in Wayne County, Michigan. I am not sure when Uncle Tacio decided to settle in California for good.

Emilio (Lolo Milong - my grandfather)

Don't know much about him, either - Tata Batyong brought him to Michigan. Lolo Milong was sickly, asthmatic with lots of allergies. This is according to the stories I have pieced together from people who knew him, like Jewel Nuneza and some other folks I have met through the years.

He was apparently sick most of the time - I can not even imagine what he went through - considering the health problems I have experienced, in this modern age with allergy medications and nebulizers to help me along.

The United States is not always kind to those who have chronic health issues - even with the advent of employer paid private health insurance - the situation continue to be tough financially for those with chronic health problems, like myself.

Employer paid health insurance did not come about until the unions demanded it after Worls War ll. My conclusion is that it was a struggle for Lolo Milong to be in the US. It would have been worse if he had his family here to provide for especially during the Depression Era. Lola Bette worried about some of his health problems but I did not grasp the magnitude until I had the experience myself.

The safety nets that are in place now, were put in place by the Franklin Delano Roosevelt administration after the Depression Era in the 1930's. Some social programs were added during Lyndon Johnson's War on Poverty Era in the late 1960's and early 1970's.

Lolo Milong died in 1953. My feeling is that inadequate health care and hard factory labor, with health hazards and no safety standards, contributed to his untimely death. He was only in his early fifties!!!

Cecilia (Lola Ilyang)

She was my favorite. I felt loved by her. Lola Ilyang took me in and raised me as one of her own - when I was with them. One memory is of her coming over to our house when I was sick - she became very upset to find me home by myself. Lola Bette came home before Lola Ilyang could take me home with her. They had a huge argument!

I used to cry myself to sleep a lot. Sometimes, when I was staying with her and her family, she would hear me crying at night - she always spoke kind words to me and tried to comfort me. She was ill, so she could not cuddle but her words of comfort and hope often helped me through.

Boy, when she got angry with me, she would really let me have it, too! She had a very sharp tongue at times that could cut to the core.

Lola Ilyang was sickly like Lolo Milong. They were the youngest in the family. Both of them lost Nanay Teresa when they were still very young. I think that led to a closer bond between them.

She was always trying to teach me various things - life lessons with religious twists - and I am very grateful for those lessons. I will always be grateful to Manoy Aliado, Ingko Tony and Inday Tanciang for their generosity in sharing their mother with me.

Tatay Panta's Older Children

Emiliana (Lola Milyang)

I loved her. I liked her beautiful "saya" and "terno" - she was always dressed to the nines, when she went to town. She always looked very aristocratic and regal when she walked to Poblacion. She tried to get me interested in tracing the family relationships but no dice - the idea was not in my frame of reference.

I did ask her a lot of questions, and she was always forthcoming with her answers. She loved flowers and and fruit trees - loved her orchards. One of her orchards was close to the river near kanipa-an. She had cacao and jackfruit I think - I used to tag along with her and Tia Fe to check on the orchard. Her house was surrounded by many tambis trees. She had original Tambis trees (kara-an)- where Katambisan is now.

Her first husband was a Regalado - had Uncle Carling. Uncle Carling came to Michigan with her uncles as a young man and settled here. I have met Uncle Carling and some of his children. It would be very cool to catch up with them again. I hope some of his grandchildren will read some of this.

Lola Milyang's second husband was Lolo Tero - I vaguely remember him as being sick. He was a De Dios from Carmen. They had three sons - Tio Alejo, Tio Candoy (Candelario), Tio Pepe (Jose) and two daughters - Tita Remy (Remedios) and Tia Fe.

Mateo (Lolo Teyoy)

He was a character. He had a "bungsod" and "sabay" as well as other fishing implements mostly nets. He liked to tell stories. He always referred to Lola Vidad as the "Kastila." They had Tio Ensok (Lorenzo), Tio Tisiong (Patricio), Tio Inteng (Vicente) and Inday Julit (Julieta.)

Rosario (Lola Yayong)

Lola Yayong married Lolo Andong Adelan - had Tio Sergio, Tia Boni (Ares) and Tia Idel(Nuneza). Hope I did not miss anyone. She died before my time so I don't really know her either.

Eugenia

Well, I am drawing sort of a blank here - I think she died when she was fairly young. She had Tio Gelacio who lived in Bukidnon - near Talakag - not far from Malaybalay. One of my regrets is not being able to visit them when I was in Malaybalay. I did know Gelacio Junior from my college days in Cebu.

It would be great to find out where they are now and reconnect.

Pantaleon Montecillo - What I Remember

Roots and wings are the best gifts that we can give to each other and the future members of our family - our children and grandchildren. I read somewhere, that family provides the roots - the more roots, the healthier the plant - unless the plant is root bound and have no room to grow.

Plants with shallow roots are easily blown away by the slightest wind. The more the roots intertwine with each other, the stronger the family, the more support available to the young ones. Young people will eventually go and make their own way -a strong family provides a strong base to rise from, when they are ready to fly out into the world. Strong rooted connections will provide a good safety net to catch them should they fall.

I want the members of the family to understand that most of this accounts are from memory. Mostly my view of the Pantaleon Montecillo Clan were formed when I was young, during my formative years. I was in my teens when I left Catmon in the early part of the sixties. There are a lot of things about the family that I don't know about, a lot of family dynamics that are very mysterious to me from my vantage point.

Had a conversation over the weekend with cousin Levi Adelan, that helped illuminate some things but also left me with more unanswered questions.

Maayo gyud unta ang mga tugpuanan sa atong kabataan!

Tatay Panta

I don't know very much about Tatay Panta except that he was the last Kapitan in Catmon. His reversal of fortune happened when the Americans came after the Spanish American War - that is my perception. He had a hard way to go. He lost not only his prestige and position, but also his wife. He was left with a lot of children to care for - some of them still very young. A major blow to the psyche for sure!

So if any of my family members are reading this - please contribute what you know.

Nanay Teresa

Don't really now much about her. Lola Milyang used to tell stories about her but I was not paying attention. She was born a Rivera - I had the opportunity to meet some of the Rivera relatives from Bantayan Island, when I was young.

Her sister Josefa, married a Jurado and was the mother of Lola Ninang Monsanto, Lola Lolang Ares, Lolo Babeng, Lola Pipang, Lola Malta Innocencio, Lola Uding Ruedas, Lolo Titing, I think I am missing some names - like Tio Quirico's father in Bohol, etc. I wish I had paid better attention to the details.

The Rivera family lived close to the beach in the proximity of where the high school is located now. They owned land on both sides of the Naghalin River up to Bagalnga.

I guess, what I am hoping to happen is that our family would start to reconnect and strengthen the connections through the sharing of memories and pictures. I am hoping that this would start bringing us all closer together. It is a legacy that we can leave to the future generations and bind them together, no matter where they are.

I will post what I remember of the Lola Talina and her children.

There is still a lot of work to be done. I hope the family will continue to share memories and photos. Mecmec Concha does a really good job! His work has been inspirational. I hope and pray that he continue to keep all of us informed and connected.

Thank you, Mecmec!

Getting Together Logistics

Emily is coming this week, on Thursday. With our hectic and busy lifestyles, the logistics of getting everyone together is challenging. She will be in Michigan from Thursday and staying until Monday. Emily is not available on Saturday and Sunday. She is leaving on Monday night.

I am leaving for Central Michigan University tomorrow morning at 6:00 AM. I will not be back until Friday evening. I am scheduled to be at a fundraising event for First Step on Friday night. First Step is one of our community partners serving victims of domestic violence, mostly women and chilren.

I am taking students to sort food at Gleaners' Community Food Bank on Saturday morning. I have a Wayne County Legislative Breakfast to attend on Monday morning at the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn; then a Student Government meeting to facilitate at 11:00 AM and another at 5:00 PM - that takes care of the rest of my Monday.

Lauren is off all day on Friday but working on Monday. She suggested that we get together at her house on Friday. Donna is going to find out about the schedules of her family members. Garrett and Brandon are off on the weekends but they may have plans. I am still waiting for Leto to call - I know that he is working on Friday. But I don't know his actual schedule. He has been doing a lot of training and development for his company.

I hope and pray that I will at least get some time to see and visit with Emily. I am looking forward to it. Something will work out!

A Global Connection - Finding Family on “Facebook”

When I was growing up in the Philippines, I was told that all Montecillos are related. A distant Montecillo ancestor settled in the northern part of the island of Cebu. Cebu is a Philippine island steeped in history. This is where Magellan landed, when lost his way to look for spices and other treasures.

Magellan was killed in the Battle of Mactan; a small island off the island of Cebu. The island chieftain, Lapu Lapu, refused to pay homage to the King of Spain. The Spaniards did not settle in the Philippines until 1565. Lapu Lapu is the first Filipino hero.

The first Spanish settlements were established in Cebu. The settlers were mostly soldiers, who married local women. That is how our family story began. My Montecillo ancestor settled in northern Cebu – Catmon, Sogod and Borbon. As the family grew, various branches moved away and settled in different parts of Cebu and other islands in the Philippines.

I belong to the clan of Pantaleon Montecillo y Menchavez. My great grandfather, Pantaleon, was the last Spanish Capitan of Catmon. His mother is a Menchavez. He was first wife to Teresa Rivera. When Lola Teresa died, he married Catalina Loyola.

To test the family story, I asked all the Montecillo members on Facebook to tell me their story. I forwarded a link featuring the Pantaleon Montecillo Clan Grand Reunion in 2006-2007. I belong to the Emilio (my grandfather) Branch of this clan.

Here is a sampling of the replies:

Era Montecillo works with the Camphill Community at Coleg Elidyr, Victoria House in Wales. She has been working there for a few years. The college educates and trains young people with special needs. She said, “Tita, that family featured in the link you sent me, is my family. I belong to the Pantaleon Montecillo Clan, Cesario Branch.” Lolo Cesar is one of my grandfather’s younger brothers from the Loyola marriage.

Ameera Ares lives and works in Qatar with her family. She wrote, “Tita, I belong to the Gervacio Branch of the Pantaleon Montecillo Clan. Tata Batyong is my grandfather.” Spain ceded the Philippines to the United States after the Spanish American War in 1898. Filipinos fought with the US troops in the First World War. Tata Batyong was a soldier in the war. He decided to stay in the US after the war. He brought his brother Emilio to Detroit in 1917. Emilio is my grandfather. During one of his trips to the Philippines, Tata Batyong married in Catmon and decided to settle there in 1926.

Frances Montecillo-Narvaez lives and works in Switzerland with her family. She wrote, “Your great grandfather, Pantaleon, was the best cousin-friend of my great grandfather, Panfilo. He named his eldest son after Pantaleon. Panfilo moved and settled in Tuburan. The family have scattered all over since their time.”

Ian Mark Schomber lives in Germany. He found out about me in Facebook. He is from the Menchavez side of the family. His mother called Cebu and told her sister-in-law, Yeldez, about me and my quest in Facebook. Yeldez immediately had her son send an e-mail confirming that we are indeed cousins. The e-mail spoke of the Menchavez family gatherings in Sogod.

This is only a sampling of the Montecillo “Facebook” connection. Most of the family is still in the Philippines. Outside the country, most of us have settled in the US and Canada, with a growing number in the Middle East, Australia and Hong Kong. An exchange of pictures and stories through Facebook, e-mails and blogs have continued to connect us. With the help of technology, I am connected to a truly globalized family.

My curiosity is leading me to find out a little bit more about the Mexican and Spanish Montecillo families. I understand they are into grassland ecology in Mexico and vineyards in Spain. This could be a lot of fun.

Keep connecting and keep the connections strong!

San Francisco Family - Taken End of 2007

My sister Jette Rojo Meehleib - she is the "prettiest" - a member of the jet set - currently attending an "International Surfing and Classic Rock Festival" in La Union, Philippines. Go figure.



Taken with brother Athan (Jonathan) and sister Jette. Athan teaches first grade and is going for his graduate degree in reading.



My San Francisco family - Nanay Julia is a Menchavez from Bawo. Nanay is superwoman -very active and into everything.



Tatay home from the hospital! I did not really get to meet him until I was 12 years old in Catmon. We did not start really connecting until I was 42 years old here in the US. We are slowly but surely getting to know each other better.

My Family - Back In The Day

Donna and I - my swimsuit caused a lot of gossip - my belly button is showing. Not a good thing to do in Catmon in the sixties!



Daddy and Mama goofing around in the water. Happier days!



Lola Bette wading in the water - near suba and Tata Batyong's payag.



This family photo was taken during one of the summers we spent in Catmon with Lola Bette.

Going To San Francisco

The Original Plan

After the last delivery for the Madonna University Christmas for Kids Project, the original plan was to sit back, relax, be with family (in Michigan), go to church and celebrate a quiet Christmas.

A Dose of Life's Realities

Received word from the family, in San Francisco, that Tatay was taken to the hospital. Tatay is in his 80's, every hospitalization is risky. At 61 years old, I have never spent Christmas with him. So I cried. It happens - when I am not in control of circumstances in my life.

Decisions, Considerations, Decisions

Had 60 families with 154 children in the background counting on having a good Christmas. Had to focus on the packing, last minute shopping and deliveries to these families.

Had not shopped for my immediate family, had very limited $$$ for travel - holiday travel in the US is expensive. The obstacles were countless, financially!

Have never spent a Christmas away from my children and grandchildren - unless they have chosen to do so. They are the most important people in my life. Have spent the last 30 Christmases with the family in Michigan!

Drafted Lauren, John, Dominic and Larry to help. I was losing focus, got lost in neighborhoods that I was familiar with. I felt very splintered and acted very scattered. I was also searching the net for cheap air fare to San Francisco. So was Frank and Lauren. The regular economy class fare to San Francisco during the holidays is over $750.00.

Donna and Frank encouraged me to go - so did Larry. What would I ever do without him and the support he provides???

So on December 23, I made the decision that if I can find affordable air fare, I would go. So, I gave the kids an "I Owe You" for Christmas when the right price came up.

I flew to San Francisco on December 24 to spend Christmas with Tatay and family, but mostly Tatay.



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