Lola Ilyang, Lolo Isyong, Mama Teresa and Family

This picture was taken before Mama left for the US in 1953. One of the few pictures where you see us together.

This photo was taken, when we were part of the "living rosary" - for Cardinal Midzenti and celebration of "Cristo Rey" ???? Cardinal Midzenti was the first cardinal to visit Cebu and the Philippines. The visit was a very big deal for Cebu.

This is truly a family photo for me - with Manoy Aliado, Ingko Tony, Inday Tanciang and Amy. Growing up, I have always thought of the four of them as my brothers and sisters.

I still remember the times spent at the "barberia" in Cebu City - the games, the fights, the fun!

And typhoon Amy - our bus was stuck in Basak or Binongkalan - we found refuge in this small house on the side of the hill. Lola Ilyang was taking all four of us to Catmon. No easy feat as Ingko Tony and I were sort of "precocious." The next morning because the fallen trees blocked the road, so we had to walk all the way to Poblacion. Somewhere along the line Titi Bebeng and Mama caught up with us. We, the children, took turns riding on Titi Bebeng's bike.

As a teenager, Manoy Aliado and Ingko Tony were always there for me - with advice, a helping hand, some comforting words and the occasional well deserved reprimand. I am so lucky to have grown up with such wonderful older brothers. Inday Tanciang was great company and playmate.

And lots of novenas, rosaries and prayers with the "olds" - Lola Sana, Lola Ebeng, Lola Ciana, Nanay Emang and of course, Uray Tilde!

Remembering the "torta making marathon" during the holidays and special occasions and thinking about the delicious smell that floated up to the room where we slept still make my mouth water. I loved my turns in pulling the ropes to stir the mixture - all those eggs. Then there's the hope that the "magical ovens" fired by "bunot" would burn some so we can eat them.

The recipe was guarded like magic potion.

It is comforting to know and think that Manoy Aliado continues to be the Manoy Aliado I know as a child in the roles he has assumed with the family. As Ingko Tony continues to be Ingko Tony for me. He seemed to know so much about science stuff!

When I lived with Tita Remy and Tio Dodo - Amy always doted on me like a younger sister. Although, I was older than she is, I learned plenty from Arminda.I used to feel so bad and useless when I saw her preparing my water for baths.

I was so spoiled.

They all made me feel very special - when I look at this photo now - I am thanking God that they are in my life - such a blessing! I just want them to know how much I love them!

Tia Ulding, Lola Conching, Lola Bette and Lola Dada

This is a photo taken at one of the Catmon fiesta celebrations in the San Francisco Bay Area. Haven't attended too many of those, since we moved from California. In the picture are Tia Ulding, Tia Azon (Davao Montecillo)and Tia Loleng Menchavez Jurbina.

Thought it would be fun to see how much Tia Ulding have changed through the years. Caught a glimpse of her through Mecmec's Catmonanon website - "Sinugat."

If you see her, tell her I do love her and think a lot about her still!


I am not sure when this photo was taken - my favorite women role models are in it.

Lola Conching was the best - loved staying in the Cebu City with her. She took me everywhere - Sanciangko to get "chitcharon" - T-Padilla and Carbon Market to find fresh crabs - yum!

Lola Dada was always down to earth - loved hanging out at their small store, next to Tita Uping's house. She had one of the best "Padaygon" during Christmas time.

Tia Ulding - I miss her a lot. She is the reason why I am an avid environmentalist. She used to take me to get "daphnia" to feed her fish at the Biology lab at the University of the Visayas. She took me to the university a lot of times and let me hang out with her and the students. She always took time to answer my botany and biology questions - prepared me for Mr. Belarmino plus...

Lolo Milong, Uncle Junior and Dad Elliott

Lolo Milong and Daddy



Lolo Milong and Uncle Junior



Uncle Junior and Daddy



Lolo Milong and his friend Man Yanong Nuneza

Like I said before, I knew very little about him. I visit his grave at Mt. Olivet Cemetery twice a year and have conversations with his spirit. I always tell him how much Lola loved him and how she missed him. He died in November, 1953.

I thought I would post some of the pictures that Jewel Nuneza sent me. I am forever grateful to her for sharing these photos. I hope and pray that we would connect face to face one day. There is so much I would like to know about Lolo Milong.

Apparently Man Yanong Nuneza was one of Lolo Milong's best friends. He lived with the Nuneza family for a long time until he died.

All three - Lolo Milong, Daddy and Uncle Junior are now gone - I do miss them, miss what was and who they were to me and what might have been - if our stories had a differnt plot.

The Mysterious Lola Bette

All my life, I have had to answer questions about Lola Bette. Questions were asked when I was growing up in Catmon, prying questions raised by family and friends. According to Lola Bette "the only people you need to let into your life are those who accept you unconditionally - the true sign of kinship is unconditional acceptance and love."

It was a bit confusing since she also told me to "treat everyone who crossed my path well, because they could be Jesus or angels sent Jesus and gifts from God."

Lola Bette carried a lot of scars and anger in her; along side her kind and grieving heart. I would often wake up in the middle of the night and find her crying softly and smoking by the window. Sometimes she would speak of her loneliness, of cruelties inflicted on her - mostly gossip; of her fears current, past and future, of her love for Lolo Milong, of their separation, of raising her children alone in Catmon, of her children abandoning her, of strength and survival, not depending on anyone!

I grew up steeped with stories of the Detroit of her youth. She was brought to Michigan by Uncle Albert Martileno and Uncle Leo Concepcion??? She grew up with Uncle Leo's children - Bobby and Mona. She called Uncle Leo's wife, Ma (Polish I think???)

Lola spoke about their escapades in Belle Isle and the Detroit River, of train rides and street cars. One time, she got very mad at me because I couldn't remember the name of her favorite melon - a green melon called "honeydew."

We went to see her relatives in Bogo at least twice a year. I was never allowed to tell or talk about them in Catmon. Nanay Candi was one of her aunts from her mother's side, I think.

When we visited, they would reminisce and speak their own Panay dialect. They were from Kalibo - now in Aklan province. They also have relatives in Estancia - a fishing village, not far from Kalibo.

For years, I spent part of my summers in Bogo - mostly the whole month of April with Tia Aning and Tio Pablo Ramel. They usually brougth me back on May 1st - Lola's birthday! They had a store at the market. I played with their children: Vic, Nene (Teresita) and Mila. Mila was my age. Sometimes we helped with the store, but mostly we played at home under the watchful eye of Nanay Candi. Nanay Candi was a Grencio by marriage???

Sometimes Tio Piping Morales' family would come to Bogo - first from Bohol, where he was the postmaster in Tagbilaran, later from Mabolo, when he became postmaster in Cebu City. Tio Piping was Nanay Candi's eldest son. Except for Elenita who was much older than we were, the four of us girls (Carmen, Nene, Mila and myself) would sleep in the floor in one room.

I spent a lot of time with the Morales' in Mabolo when I was in college in San Carlos. Had a fairly close relationship with his youngest daughter Carmen. In Mabolo, they lived down the street from Lolo Inteng and Lola Pacing Montecillo. Nene and Hope were very close friends. We were all at USC. Too bad I lost track!

We've had a few visitors from Lola's family in Panay - I can barely remember them - there was a Henry and a Virgie. The one who visited most and spent the most time in Catmon, was Tio Tonying Sioco. He was a high school teacher in either Kalibo or Estancia.

My mother is the only one who had ever spent time in Kalibo and make other family connections. She made several trips to Kalibo, when she was working on Lola Bette's social security papers. Lola's sister and her family came to visit when Mom, Dad and Donna lived in Cavite. Somehow, we also missed that chance of connection.

Making sure that Lola was taken care of was an obsession for our mother, Teresa - from Social Security pension to making sure that Lola had adequate housing. She did not leave the Philippines until the house she was building for Lola was done. Unfortunately, she paid very dearly for the decision to stay.

She told me that if she died - she will die in peace because she took care of her mother. I think she continued to crave for Lola's approval to the end.

The Last Two Weeks

Baaaaad Cold and Cough

Am not feeling too well - coughed all night. Leto brought me over to stay with Lauren. Gives me a chance to reflect on the past couple of weeks, while allowing my body to recover. Must remind myself that I am not longer 17 years old - it is just that, I see too many things that need doing and not too many folks stepping up to the challenge.

My Life Space: "Who is supposed to be here is here; what is said is what needs saying; the flow of conversation is the right flow; when the conversation is over, it's over - but it really nevers stops; a new conversation is started somewhere - life goes on!"

The past two weeks were punctuated with very hectic and intense days.

Two Weeks Ago

On the Rojo side, the conversation regarding Tatay and Nanay's 60th Wedding Anniversary celebration have started. The date is set for a June 28th ceremony and lunch reception. A lot of logistics to be taken care of such as venue, cost, guest lists and program. Coordination is a nightmare/daydream depending on perspective - the immediate family alone number over 100 - 13 children, their children and grandchildren spread in five states.

A great population study - so family demographers and sociologists, pay attention!

On the Montecillo side, working the logistics of Emily's visit was something else. Made me reflect on the choices I have to make and time management. Family is most important.

First Week - February 3 - 9

Tried to get as many things done in preparation for my trip to the conference at Central Michigan University in Mt. Pleasant. Left Northville on Wednesday at 6:45 AM for Mt. Pleasant. We had snow flurries when we left but as we passed Lansing the snow fall became thicker and thicker, travel became slower and slower.

Got in late to the Environmental Solutions Summit. Learned a lot about what we can all do for our and our children's survival, about the interdependence of everyone and everything, methods and models of teaching communities about caring for the environment. Great stuff!!!

After the Summit,we discovered that the CMU campus was closing at 4:00 PM due to the snow storm. There were white out conditions in certain places and snow was falling at a much faster clip than what was possible to keep the roads clear.

Inched back to our hotel, attended the "Learn and Serve" reception that evening - grateful, that the evening reception was held at our hotel. At the reception, it was decided that we were going ahead with the conference anyway - since we were stuck there - our original venue, Central Michigan University was closed, the following day also.

The snow fall around our hotel measured 18 inches so we were snowed in: chucked the original conference agenda and made our way through. As community service/service learning folks, we pride in our resourcefulness and resilience.

Thank you Michigan Campus Compact and Michigan Community Service Commission for a great Service Learning Institute.

Got back to the Madonna University campus on Friday afternoon at around 4:30 PM. Checked mail and then went home to dress for the First Step Charity Ball at 6:30. It was a "black tie event" - so I wore a nice pants suit, wore heels and put make up on. The tickets to attend the ball was pricey at $75.00 each.

Have to admit, it felt good to dress and it lifted my spirits. Sold raffle tickets to benefit First Step and was on my feet all night on high heels - quiet a contrast from the snow boots and all the sitting I did the previous two days. Had fun flirting and cajoling folks to buy tickets - it was for a good cause.

Saturday morning, I was up and around early, took students to sort food for distribution to the homeless and hungry at Gleaners' Commnity Food Bank. Spent the night at Lauren's.

Could barely move on Sunday, took Dominic to church, put a turkey in the oven for Larry and Don; laid on Lauren's couch all day drifting in and out of sleep! Thought about Catmon fiesta all day! Wished I was in Catmon to celebrate!

One Week Ago

Had two Student Government Association meetings scheduled on Monday. Worked in a get together with Emily, Donna and Leto in between meetings. Leto treated us, to the always delicious and great American cuisine lunch at Zingerman's Roadhouse. If you ever find yourself in Ann Arbor - get a meal at Zingerman's Roadhouse - you will keep going back! Love their Sweet Potato Frecnh Fries!

It was great to see Emily - it is never enough time. Really enjoyed the company. She promised to come back!

Had meetings on Tuesday - a new snow storm hits our area - I was on campus until about 10:00 PM. Tried to let the storm pass. Recruited Lauren to buy the ingredients for chicken adobo for the International Festival on Wednesday.

Because the roads were not cleared in most places - it took me almost 35 minutes to get home (10 minutes under normal conditions)and 1 hour and 15 minutes to get to Lauren's house (35 mintes max under normal conditons.) Got to Lauren's at quarter past midnight or early Wednesday morning. Got up at 6:30 and started cooking 103 pieces of chicken adobo. Was at the International Festival at 11:00 - all went well.

Now, it is Thursday, Valentines Day. Altin went with me to pick up the roses at 9:00 AM - a fundraiser for Alternative Spring Break - South Carolina - our rural ASB experience. Need to raise at least $300.00 for gas alone. The sale was a success - did not get home until 10:45 PM - after a very long day.

Friday morning, I "lolly-gagged" in bed; cold started to set in - got into the office at around 11:00 Am - had a planning meeting with the group going to Mexico with me in May - have to start fundraising. Trying to keep the cost down to $500.00per student.

Got caught up with e-mail - personal and professional. It looks like the venue and menu for the Rojo 60th Anniversary celebration is pretty much settled. It was a choice between Grosvenor, Best Western and Sheraton - it looks like Sheraton won. So now the counting and saving of pennies begins.

Saturday morning, I stopped by campus to see if I have any students for Habitat - no one was there. Feeling lousier and lousier. The weather warming up have not helped. Picked up Leto in Ann Arbor then Manny in Detroit to hang out at Lauren's. Took Manny and Dominic to Border's Bookstore and Target.

Have no energy to take them to Ann Arbor;so I gave Leto the car and I slept on and on both Saturday and Sunday.

Today is Monday, I called in sick - because tomorrow is Wellness Day and as the MU Wellness coordinator, I have to be there.

By the way - it is starting to snow again - we are expecting an inch or two by this evening - ahhhh, Michigan weather.

Emily's Visit - No Pictures - Forgot the Camera

Well, Emily, Donna and I connected on Friday, February 8; but did not get to see each other until Monday, February 11th. Had a lot of things going on my plate, collapsed after church on Sunday.

Talked to Donna a lot and Emily as well, - when I could. Stayed at Lauren's house for some TLC. John is a good cook and Dominic always, always cheers my spirits.

Donna and Emily came to the university on Monday. We stole away to Ann Arbor - taking one car so we can all talk. It was great fun to get caught up with each other. Leto joined us in Ann Arbor and treated us to a great lunch.

Haven't had a face-to-face visit with Emily for a while - I think our paths crossed in San Francisco a few years ago. We try to maintain contact through e-amil and Facebook. Thank goodness for the new technologies!

It was just so great to see her in person. We talked about history (both family and national history) after all - national history is a compilation of individual and family histories. Talked at length about our family - how much it has grown and expanded, the efforts to preserve legacy and of course who's who. Talked about Mecmec's project and website getting the family connected.

I am currently gathering photos - have some restored but restoration proved to be very expensive - so it is a very slow process.

Of course, in the excitement, none of us remembered to bring our cameras.

The Young Ones

Gervacio (Tata Batoy or Tata Batyong)

Tata Batyong was the greatest - he used pull my chains a lot - Lola Sayong would reprimand him and tell him not to joke with me so much. He taught me how to plant sugar cane, coconuts and bananas. He said - "if you don't work, you don't eat."

Before the pipes were extended to reach them, we use to carry water from a well by the river - all they way to their house by the hillside. We used bamboo tubes (sag-ub)to carry water. I always forgot to lower the tubes gently, when we rested - bump and the tube is broken, precious water gushing all over the place.

Well, I broke a lot of "sag-ub" - to a point that I became exempt from fetching water. The water was stored in great big clay crock jars. The water stored in those jars always tasted much sweeter to me. He loved to fish and he loved to cook.

Protacio (Uncle Tacio)

My sister Donna and I are the only ones who really got to know Uncle Tasio. He lived in a farm house camp in Knightsen, California. He also liked to cook and fish like Tata Batyong.

He worked very hard - part of the huge "stoop labor" force in the farms that provide the food served in most American tables and restaurants to this day. He remained a bachelor until he died. He never made it back to Catmon.

Both Tata Batyong and Uncle Tacio are listed in the United States census of 1930 as residents of Wayne County - Detroit is in Wayne County, Michigan. I am not sure when Uncle Tacio decided to settle in California for good.

Emilio (Lolo Milong - my grandfather)

Don't know much about him, either - Tata Batyong brought him to Michigan. Lolo Milong was sickly, asthmatic with lots of allergies. This is according to the stories I have pieced together from people who knew him, like Jewel Nuneza and some other folks I have met through the years.

He was apparently sick most of the time - I can not even imagine what he went through - considering the health problems I have experienced, in this modern age with allergy medications and nebulizers to help me along.

The United States is not always kind to those who have chronic health issues - even with the advent of employer paid private health insurance - the situation continue to be tough financially for those with chronic health problems, like myself.

Employer paid health insurance did not come about until the unions demanded it after Worls War ll. My conclusion is that it was a struggle for Lolo Milong to be in the US. It would have been worse if he had his family here to provide for especially during the Depression Era. Lola Bette worried about some of his health problems but I did not grasp the magnitude until I had the experience myself.

The safety nets that are in place now, were put in place by the Franklin Delano Roosevelt administration after the Depression Era in the 1930's. Some social programs were added during Lyndon Johnson's War on Poverty Era in the late 1960's and early 1970's.

Lolo Milong died in 1953. My feeling is that inadequate health care and hard factory labor, with health hazards and no safety standards, contributed to his untimely death. He was only in his early fifties!!!

Cecilia (Lola Ilyang)

She was my favorite. I felt loved by her. Lola Ilyang took me in and raised me as one of her own - when I was with them. One memory is of her coming over to our house when I was sick - she became very upset to find me home by myself. Lola Bette came home before Lola Ilyang could take me home with her. They had a huge argument!

I used to cry myself to sleep a lot. Sometimes, when I was staying with her and her family, she would hear me crying at night - she always spoke kind words to me and tried to comfort me. She was ill, so she could not cuddle but her words of comfort and hope often helped me through.

Boy, when she got angry with me, she would really let me have it, too! She had a very sharp tongue at times that could cut to the core.

Lola Ilyang was sickly like Lolo Milong. They were the youngest in the family. Both of them lost Nanay Teresa when they were still very young. I think that led to a closer bond between them.

She was always trying to teach me various things - life lessons with religious twists - and I am very grateful for those lessons. I will always be grateful to Manoy Aliado, Ingko Tony and Inday Tanciang for their generosity in sharing their mother with me.

Tatay Panta's Older Children

Emiliana (Lola Milyang)

I loved her. I liked her beautiful "saya" and "terno" - she was always dressed to the nines, when she went to town. She always looked very aristocratic and regal when she walked to Poblacion. She tried to get me interested in tracing the family relationships but no dice - the idea was not in my frame of reference.

I did ask her a lot of questions, and she was always forthcoming with her answers. She loved flowers and and fruit trees - loved her orchards. One of her orchards was close to the river near kanipa-an. She had cacao and jackfruit I think - I used to tag along with her and Tia Fe to check on the orchard. Her house was surrounded by many tambis trees. She had original Tambis trees (kara-an)- where Katambisan is now.

Her first husband was a Regalado - had Uncle Carling. Uncle Carling came to Michigan with her uncles as a young man and settled here. I have met Uncle Carling and some of his children. It would be very cool to catch up with them again. I hope some of his grandchildren will read some of this.

Lola Milyang's second husband was Lolo Tero - I vaguely remember him as being sick. He was a De Dios from Carmen. They had three sons - Tio Alejo, Tio Candoy (Candelario), Tio Pepe (Jose) and two daughters - Tita Remy (Remedios) and Tia Fe.

Mateo (Lolo Teyoy)

He was a character. He had a "bungsod" and "sabay" as well as other fishing implements mostly nets. He liked to tell stories. He always referred to Lola Vidad as the "Kastila." They had Tio Ensok (Lorenzo), Tio Tisiong (Patricio), Tio Inteng (Vicente) and Inday Julit (Julieta.)

Rosario (Lola Yayong)

Lola Yayong married Lolo Andong Adelan - had Tio Sergio, Tia Boni (Ares) and Tia Idel(Nuneza). Hope I did not miss anyone. She died before my time so I don't really know her either.

Eugenia

Well, I am drawing sort of a blank here - I think she died when she was fairly young. She had Tio Gelacio who lived in Bukidnon - near Talakag - not far from Malaybalay. One of my regrets is not being able to visit them when I was in Malaybalay. I did know Gelacio Junior from my college days in Cebu.

It would be great to find out where they are now and reconnect.