Lola Ilyang, Lolo Isyong, Mama Teresa and Family

This picture was taken before Mama left for the US in 1953. One of the few pictures where you see us together.

This photo was taken, when we were part of the "living rosary" - for Cardinal Midzenti and celebration of "Cristo Rey" ???? Cardinal Midzenti was the first cardinal to visit Cebu and the Philippines. The visit was a very big deal for Cebu.

This is truly a family photo for me - with Manoy Aliado, Ingko Tony, Inday Tanciang and Amy. Growing up, I have always thought of the four of them as my brothers and sisters.

I still remember the times spent at the "barberia" in Cebu City - the games, the fights, the fun!

And typhoon Amy - our bus was stuck in Basak or Binongkalan - we found refuge in this small house on the side of the hill. Lola Ilyang was taking all four of us to Catmon. No easy feat as Ingko Tony and I were sort of "precocious." The next morning because the fallen trees blocked the road, so we had to walk all the way to Poblacion. Somewhere along the line Titi Bebeng and Mama caught up with us. We, the children, took turns riding on Titi Bebeng's bike.

As a teenager, Manoy Aliado and Ingko Tony were always there for me - with advice, a helping hand, some comforting words and the occasional well deserved reprimand. I am so lucky to have grown up with such wonderful older brothers. Inday Tanciang was great company and playmate.

And lots of novenas, rosaries and prayers with the "olds" - Lola Sana, Lola Ebeng, Lola Ciana, Nanay Emang and of course, Uray Tilde!

Remembering the "torta making marathon" during the holidays and special occasions and thinking about the delicious smell that floated up to the room where we slept still make my mouth water. I loved my turns in pulling the ropes to stir the mixture - all those eggs. Then there's the hope that the "magical ovens" fired by "bunot" would burn some so we can eat them.

The recipe was guarded like magic potion.

It is comforting to know and think that Manoy Aliado continues to be the Manoy Aliado I know as a child in the roles he has assumed with the family. As Ingko Tony continues to be Ingko Tony for me. He seemed to know so much about science stuff!

When I lived with Tita Remy and Tio Dodo - Amy always doted on me like a younger sister. Although, I was older than she is, I learned plenty from Arminda.I used to feel so bad and useless when I saw her preparing my water for baths.

I was so spoiled.

They all made me feel very special - when I look at this photo now - I am thanking God that they are in my life - such a blessing! I just want them to know how much I love them!

Tia Ulding, Lola Conching, Lola Bette and Lola Dada

This is a photo taken at one of the Catmon fiesta celebrations in the San Francisco Bay Area. Haven't attended too many of those, since we moved from California. In the picture are Tia Ulding, Tia Azon (Davao Montecillo)and Tia Loleng Menchavez Jurbina.

Thought it would be fun to see how much Tia Ulding have changed through the years. Caught a glimpse of her through Mecmec's Catmonanon website - "Sinugat."

If you see her, tell her I do love her and think a lot about her still!


I am not sure when this photo was taken - my favorite women role models are in it.

Lola Conching was the best - loved staying in the Cebu City with her. She took me everywhere - Sanciangko to get "chitcharon" - T-Padilla and Carbon Market to find fresh crabs - yum!

Lola Dada was always down to earth - loved hanging out at their small store, next to Tita Uping's house. She had one of the best "Padaygon" during Christmas time.

Tia Ulding - I miss her a lot. She is the reason why I am an avid environmentalist. She used to take me to get "daphnia" to feed her fish at the Biology lab at the University of the Visayas. She took me to the university a lot of times and let me hang out with her and the students. She always took time to answer my botany and biology questions - prepared me for Mr. Belarmino plus...

Lolo Milong, Uncle Junior and Dad Elliott

Lolo Milong and Daddy



Lolo Milong and Uncle Junior



Uncle Junior and Daddy



Lolo Milong and his friend Man Yanong Nuneza

Like I said before, I knew very little about him. I visit his grave at Mt. Olivet Cemetery twice a year and have conversations with his spirit. I always tell him how much Lola loved him and how she missed him. He died in November, 1953.

I thought I would post some of the pictures that Jewel Nuneza sent me. I am forever grateful to her for sharing these photos. I hope and pray that we would connect face to face one day. There is so much I would like to know about Lolo Milong.

Apparently Man Yanong Nuneza was one of Lolo Milong's best friends. He lived with the Nuneza family for a long time until he died.

All three - Lolo Milong, Daddy and Uncle Junior are now gone - I do miss them, miss what was and who they were to me and what might have been - if our stories had a differnt plot.

The Mysterious Lola Bette

All my life, I have had to answer questions about Lola Bette. Questions were asked when I was growing up in Catmon, prying questions raised by family and friends. According to Lola Bette "the only people you need to let into your life are those who accept you unconditionally - the true sign of kinship is unconditional acceptance and love."

It was a bit confusing since she also told me to "treat everyone who crossed my path well, because they could be Jesus or angels sent Jesus and gifts from God."

Lola Bette carried a lot of scars and anger in her; along side her kind and grieving heart. I would often wake up in the middle of the night and find her crying softly and smoking by the window. Sometimes she would speak of her loneliness, of cruelties inflicted on her - mostly gossip; of her fears current, past and future, of her love for Lolo Milong, of their separation, of raising her children alone in Catmon, of her children abandoning her, of strength and survival, not depending on anyone!

I grew up steeped with stories of the Detroit of her youth. She was brought to Michigan by Uncle Albert Martileno and Uncle Leo Concepcion??? She grew up with Uncle Leo's children - Bobby and Mona. She called Uncle Leo's wife, Ma (Polish I think???)

Lola spoke about their escapades in Belle Isle and the Detroit River, of train rides and street cars. One time, she got very mad at me because I couldn't remember the name of her favorite melon - a green melon called "honeydew."

We went to see her relatives in Bogo at least twice a year. I was never allowed to tell or talk about them in Catmon. Nanay Candi was one of her aunts from her mother's side, I think.

When we visited, they would reminisce and speak their own Panay dialect. They were from Kalibo - now in Aklan province. They also have relatives in Estancia - a fishing village, not far from Kalibo.

For years, I spent part of my summers in Bogo - mostly the whole month of April with Tia Aning and Tio Pablo Ramel. They usually brougth me back on May 1st - Lola's birthday! They had a store at the market. I played with their children: Vic, Nene (Teresita) and Mila. Mila was my age. Sometimes we helped with the store, but mostly we played at home under the watchful eye of Nanay Candi. Nanay Candi was a Grencio by marriage???

Sometimes Tio Piping Morales' family would come to Bogo - first from Bohol, where he was the postmaster in Tagbilaran, later from Mabolo, when he became postmaster in Cebu City. Tio Piping was Nanay Candi's eldest son. Except for Elenita who was much older than we were, the four of us girls (Carmen, Nene, Mila and myself) would sleep in the floor in one room.

I spent a lot of time with the Morales' in Mabolo when I was in college in San Carlos. Had a fairly close relationship with his youngest daughter Carmen. In Mabolo, they lived down the street from Lolo Inteng and Lola Pacing Montecillo. Nene and Hope were very close friends. We were all at USC. Too bad I lost track!

We've had a few visitors from Lola's family in Panay - I can barely remember them - there was a Henry and a Virgie. The one who visited most and spent the most time in Catmon, was Tio Tonying Sioco. He was a high school teacher in either Kalibo or Estancia.

My mother is the only one who had ever spent time in Kalibo and make other family connections. She made several trips to Kalibo, when she was working on Lola Bette's social security papers. Lola's sister and her family came to visit when Mom, Dad and Donna lived in Cavite. Somehow, we also missed that chance of connection.

Making sure that Lola was taken care of was an obsession for our mother, Teresa - from Social Security pension to making sure that Lola had adequate housing. She did not leave the Philippines until the house she was building for Lola was done. Unfortunately, she paid very dearly for the decision to stay.

She told me that if she died - she will die in peace because she took care of her mother. I think she continued to crave for Lola's approval to the end.

The Last Two Weeks

Baaaaad Cold and Cough

Am not feeling too well - coughed all night. Leto brought me over to stay with Lauren. Gives me a chance to reflect on the past couple of weeks, while allowing my body to recover. Must remind myself that I am not longer 17 years old - it is just that, I see too many things that need doing and not too many folks stepping up to the challenge.

My Life Space: "Who is supposed to be here is here; what is said is what needs saying; the flow of conversation is the right flow; when the conversation is over, it's over - but it really nevers stops; a new conversation is started somewhere - life goes on!"

The past two weeks were punctuated with very hectic and intense days.

Two Weeks Ago

On the Rojo side, the conversation regarding Tatay and Nanay's 60th Wedding Anniversary celebration have started. The date is set for a June 28th ceremony and lunch reception. A lot of logistics to be taken care of such as venue, cost, guest lists and program. Coordination is a nightmare/daydream depending on perspective - the immediate family alone number over 100 - 13 children, their children and grandchildren spread in five states.

A great population study - so family demographers and sociologists, pay attention!

On the Montecillo side, working the logistics of Emily's visit was something else. Made me reflect on the choices I have to make and time management. Family is most important.

First Week - February 3 - 9

Tried to get as many things done in preparation for my trip to the conference at Central Michigan University in Mt. Pleasant. Left Northville on Wednesday at 6:45 AM for Mt. Pleasant. We had snow flurries when we left but as we passed Lansing the snow fall became thicker and thicker, travel became slower and slower.

Got in late to the Environmental Solutions Summit. Learned a lot about what we can all do for our and our children's survival, about the interdependence of everyone and everything, methods and models of teaching communities about caring for the environment. Great stuff!!!

After the Summit,we discovered that the CMU campus was closing at 4:00 PM due to the snow storm. There were white out conditions in certain places and snow was falling at a much faster clip than what was possible to keep the roads clear.

Inched back to our hotel, attended the "Learn and Serve" reception that evening - grateful, that the evening reception was held at our hotel. At the reception, it was decided that we were going ahead with the conference anyway - since we were stuck there - our original venue, Central Michigan University was closed, the following day also.

The snow fall around our hotel measured 18 inches so we were snowed in: chucked the original conference agenda and made our way through. As community service/service learning folks, we pride in our resourcefulness and resilience.

Thank you Michigan Campus Compact and Michigan Community Service Commission for a great Service Learning Institute.

Got back to the Madonna University campus on Friday afternoon at around 4:30 PM. Checked mail and then went home to dress for the First Step Charity Ball at 6:30. It was a "black tie event" - so I wore a nice pants suit, wore heels and put make up on. The tickets to attend the ball was pricey at $75.00 each.

Have to admit, it felt good to dress and it lifted my spirits. Sold raffle tickets to benefit First Step and was on my feet all night on high heels - quiet a contrast from the snow boots and all the sitting I did the previous two days. Had fun flirting and cajoling folks to buy tickets - it was for a good cause.

Saturday morning, I was up and around early, took students to sort food for distribution to the homeless and hungry at Gleaners' Commnity Food Bank. Spent the night at Lauren's.

Could barely move on Sunday, took Dominic to church, put a turkey in the oven for Larry and Don; laid on Lauren's couch all day drifting in and out of sleep! Thought about Catmon fiesta all day! Wished I was in Catmon to celebrate!

One Week Ago

Had two Student Government Association meetings scheduled on Monday. Worked in a get together with Emily, Donna and Leto in between meetings. Leto treated us, to the always delicious and great American cuisine lunch at Zingerman's Roadhouse. If you ever find yourself in Ann Arbor - get a meal at Zingerman's Roadhouse - you will keep going back! Love their Sweet Potato Frecnh Fries!

It was great to see Emily - it is never enough time. Really enjoyed the company. She promised to come back!

Had meetings on Tuesday - a new snow storm hits our area - I was on campus until about 10:00 PM. Tried to let the storm pass. Recruited Lauren to buy the ingredients for chicken adobo for the International Festival on Wednesday.

Because the roads were not cleared in most places - it took me almost 35 minutes to get home (10 minutes under normal conditions)and 1 hour and 15 minutes to get to Lauren's house (35 mintes max under normal conditons.) Got to Lauren's at quarter past midnight or early Wednesday morning. Got up at 6:30 and started cooking 103 pieces of chicken adobo. Was at the International Festival at 11:00 - all went well.

Now, it is Thursday, Valentines Day. Altin went with me to pick up the roses at 9:00 AM - a fundraiser for Alternative Spring Break - South Carolina - our rural ASB experience. Need to raise at least $300.00 for gas alone. The sale was a success - did not get home until 10:45 PM - after a very long day.

Friday morning, I "lolly-gagged" in bed; cold started to set in - got into the office at around 11:00 Am - had a planning meeting with the group going to Mexico with me in May - have to start fundraising. Trying to keep the cost down to $500.00per student.

Got caught up with e-mail - personal and professional. It looks like the venue and menu for the Rojo 60th Anniversary celebration is pretty much settled. It was a choice between Grosvenor, Best Western and Sheraton - it looks like Sheraton won. So now the counting and saving of pennies begins.

Saturday morning, I stopped by campus to see if I have any students for Habitat - no one was there. Feeling lousier and lousier. The weather warming up have not helped. Picked up Leto in Ann Arbor then Manny in Detroit to hang out at Lauren's. Took Manny and Dominic to Border's Bookstore and Target.

Have no energy to take them to Ann Arbor;so I gave Leto the car and I slept on and on both Saturday and Sunday.

Today is Monday, I called in sick - because tomorrow is Wellness Day and as the MU Wellness coordinator, I have to be there.

By the way - it is starting to snow again - we are expecting an inch or two by this evening - ahhhh, Michigan weather.

Emily's Visit - No Pictures - Forgot the Camera

Well, Emily, Donna and I connected on Friday, February 8; but did not get to see each other until Monday, February 11th. Had a lot of things going on my plate, collapsed after church on Sunday.

Talked to Donna a lot and Emily as well, - when I could. Stayed at Lauren's house for some TLC. John is a good cook and Dominic always, always cheers my spirits.

Donna and Emily came to the university on Monday. We stole away to Ann Arbor - taking one car so we can all talk. It was great fun to get caught up with each other. Leto joined us in Ann Arbor and treated us to a great lunch.

Haven't had a face-to-face visit with Emily for a while - I think our paths crossed in San Francisco a few years ago. We try to maintain contact through e-amil and Facebook. Thank goodness for the new technologies!

It was just so great to see her in person. We talked about history (both family and national history) after all - national history is a compilation of individual and family histories. Talked at length about our family - how much it has grown and expanded, the efforts to preserve legacy and of course who's who. Talked about Mecmec's project and website getting the family connected.

I am currently gathering photos - have some restored but restoration proved to be very expensive - so it is a very slow process.

Of course, in the excitement, none of us remembered to bring our cameras.

The Young Ones

Gervacio (Tata Batoy or Tata Batyong)

Tata Batyong was the greatest - he used pull my chains a lot - Lola Sayong would reprimand him and tell him not to joke with me so much. He taught me how to plant sugar cane, coconuts and bananas. He said - "if you don't work, you don't eat."

Before the pipes were extended to reach them, we use to carry water from a well by the river - all they way to their house by the hillside. We used bamboo tubes (sag-ub)to carry water. I always forgot to lower the tubes gently, when we rested - bump and the tube is broken, precious water gushing all over the place.

Well, I broke a lot of "sag-ub" - to a point that I became exempt from fetching water. The water was stored in great big clay crock jars. The water stored in those jars always tasted much sweeter to me. He loved to fish and he loved to cook.

Protacio (Uncle Tacio)

My sister Donna and I are the only ones who really got to know Uncle Tasio. He lived in a farm house camp in Knightsen, California. He also liked to cook and fish like Tata Batyong.

He worked very hard - part of the huge "stoop labor" force in the farms that provide the food served in most American tables and restaurants to this day. He remained a bachelor until he died. He never made it back to Catmon.

Both Tata Batyong and Uncle Tacio are listed in the United States census of 1930 as residents of Wayne County - Detroit is in Wayne County, Michigan. I am not sure when Uncle Tacio decided to settle in California for good.

Emilio (Lolo Milong - my grandfather)

Don't know much about him, either - Tata Batyong brought him to Michigan. Lolo Milong was sickly, asthmatic with lots of allergies. This is according to the stories I have pieced together from people who knew him, like Jewel Nuneza and some other folks I have met through the years.

He was apparently sick most of the time - I can not even imagine what he went through - considering the health problems I have experienced, in this modern age with allergy medications and nebulizers to help me along.

The United States is not always kind to those who have chronic health issues - even with the advent of employer paid private health insurance - the situation continue to be tough financially for those with chronic health problems, like myself.

Employer paid health insurance did not come about until the unions demanded it after Worls War ll. My conclusion is that it was a struggle for Lolo Milong to be in the US. It would have been worse if he had his family here to provide for especially during the Depression Era. Lola Bette worried about some of his health problems but I did not grasp the magnitude until I had the experience myself.

The safety nets that are in place now, were put in place by the Franklin Delano Roosevelt administration after the Depression Era in the 1930's. Some social programs were added during Lyndon Johnson's War on Poverty Era in the late 1960's and early 1970's.

Lolo Milong died in 1953. My feeling is that inadequate health care and hard factory labor, with health hazards and no safety standards, contributed to his untimely death. He was only in his early fifties!!!

Cecilia (Lola Ilyang)

She was my favorite. I felt loved by her. Lola Ilyang took me in and raised me as one of her own - when I was with them. One memory is of her coming over to our house when I was sick - she became very upset to find me home by myself. Lola Bette came home before Lola Ilyang could take me home with her. They had a huge argument!

I used to cry myself to sleep a lot. Sometimes, when I was staying with her and her family, she would hear me crying at night - she always spoke kind words to me and tried to comfort me. She was ill, so she could not cuddle but her words of comfort and hope often helped me through.

Boy, when she got angry with me, she would really let me have it, too! She had a very sharp tongue at times that could cut to the core.

Lola Ilyang was sickly like Lolo Milong. They were the youngest in the family. Both of them lost Nanay Teresa when they were still very young. I think that led to a closer bond between them.

She was always trying to teach me various things - life lessons with religious twists - and I am very grateful for those lessons. I will always be grateful to Manoy Aliado, Ingko Tony and Inday Tanciang for their generosity in sharing their mother with me.

Tatay Panta's Older Children

Emiliana (Lola Milyang)

I loved her. I liked her beautiful "saya" and "terno" - she was always dressed to the nines, when she went to town. She always looked very aristocratic and regal when she walked to Poblacion. She tried to get me interested in tracing the family relationships but no dice - the idea was not in my frame of reference.

I did ask her a lot of questions, and she was always forthcoming with her answers. She loved flowers and and fruit trees - loved her orchards. One of her orchards was close to the river near kanipa-an. She had cacao and jackfruit I think - I used to tag along with her and Tia Fe to check on the orchard. Her house was surrounded by many tambis trees. She had original Tambis trees (kara-an)- where Katambisan is now.

Her first husband was a Regalado - had Uncle Carling. Uncle Carling came to Michigan with her uncles as a young man and settled here. I have met Uncle Carling and some of his children. It would be very cool to catch up with them again. I hope some of his grandchildren will read some of this.

Lola Milyang's second husband was Lolo Tero - I vaguely remember him as being sick. He was a De Dios from Carmen. They had three sons - Tio Alejo, Tio Candoy (Candelario), Tio Pepe (Jose) and two daughters - Tita Remy (Remedios) and Tia Fe.

Mateo (Lolo Teyoy)

He was a character. He had a "bungsod" and "sabay" as well as other fishing implements mostly nets. He liked to tell stories. He always referred to Lola Vidad as the "Kastila." They had Tio Ensok (Lorenzo), Tio Tisiong (Patricio), Tio Inteng (Vicente) and Inday Julit (Julieta.)

Rosario (Lola Yayong)

Lola Yayong married Lolo Andong Adelan - had Tio Sergio, Tia Boni (Ares) and Tia Idel(Nuneza). Hope I did not miss anyone. She died before my time so I don't really know her either.

Eugenia

Well, I am drawing sort of a blank here - I think she died when she was fairly young. She had Tio Gelacio who lived in Bukidnon - near Talakag - not far from Malaybalay. One of my regrets is not being able to visit them when I was in Malaybalay. I did know Gelacio Junior from my college days in Cebu.

It would be great to find out where they are now and reconnect.

Pantaleon Montecillo - What I Remember

Roots and wings are the best gifts that we can give to each other and the future members of our family - our children and grandchildren. I read somewhere, that family provides the roots - the more roots, the healthier the plant - unless the plant is root bound and have no room to grow.

Plants with shallow roots are easily blown away by the slightest wind. The more the roots intertwine with each other, the stronger the family, the more support available to the young ones. Young people will eventually go and make their own way -a strong family provides a strong base to rise from, when they are ready to fly out into the world. Strong rooted connections will provide a good safety net to catch them should they fall.

I want the members of the family to understand that most of this accounts are from memory. Mostly my view of the Pantaleon Montecillo Clan were formed when I was young, during my formative years. I was in my teens when I left Catmon in the early part of the sixties. There are a lot of things about the family that I don't know about, a lot of family dynamics that are very mysterious to me from my vantage point.

Had a conversation over the weekend with cousin Levi Adelan, that helped illuminate some things but also left me with more unanswered questions.

Maayo gyud unta ang mga tugpuanan sa atong kabataan!

Tatay Panta

I don't know very much about Tatay Panta except that he was the last Kapitan in Catmon. His reversal of fortune happened when the Americans came after the Spanish American War - that is my perception. He had a hard way to go. He lost not only his prestige and position, but also his wife. He was left with a lot of children to care for - some of them still very young. A major blow to the psyche for sure!

So if any of my family members are reading this - please contribute what you know.

Nanay Teresa

Don't really now much about her. Lola Milyang used to tell stories about her but I was not paying attention. She was born a Rivera - I had the opportunity to meet some of the Rivera relatives from Bantayan Island, when I was young.

Her sister Josefa, married a Jurado and was the mother of Lola Ninang Monsanto, Lola Lolang Ares, Lolo Babeng, Lola Pipang, Lola Malta Innocencio, Lola Uding Ruedas, Lolo Titing, I think I am missing some names - like Tio Quirico's father in Bohol, etc. I wish I had paid better attention to the details.

The Rivera family lived close to the beach in the proximity of where the high school is located now. They owned land on both sides of the Naghalin River up to Bagalnga.

I guess, what I am hoping to happen is that our family would start to reconnect and strengthen the connections through the sharing of memories and pictures. I am hoping that this would start bringing us all closer together. It is a legacy that we can leave to the future generations and bind them together, no matter where they are.

I will post what I remember of the Lola Talina and her children.

There is still a lot of work to be done. I hope the family will continue to share memories and photos. Mecmec Concha does a really good job! His work has been inspirational. I hope and pray that he continue to keep all of us informed and connected.

Thank you, Mecmec!

Getting Together Logistics

Emily is coming this week, on Thursday. With our hectic and busy lifestyles, the logistics of getting everyone together is challenging. She will be in Michigan from Thursday and staying until Monday. Emily is not available on Saturday and Sunday. She is leaving on Monday night.

I am leaving for Central Michigan University tomorrow morning at 6:00 AM. I will not be back until Friday evening. I am scheduled to be at a fundraising event for First Step on Friday night. First Step is one of our community partners serving victims of domestic violence, mostly women and chilren.

I am taking students to sort food at Gleaners' Community Food Bank on Saturday morning. I have a Wayne County Legislative Breakfast to attend on Monday morning at the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn; then a Student Government meeting to facilitate at 11:00 AM and another at 5:00 PM - that takes care of the rest of my Monday.

Lauren is off all day on Friday but working on Monday. She suggested that we get together at her house on Friday. Donna is going to find out about the schedules of her family members. Garrett and Brandon are off on the weekends but they may have plans. I am still waiting for Leto to call - I know that he is working on Friday. But I don't know his actual schedule. He has been doing a lot of training and development for his company.

I hope and pray that I will at least get some time to see and visit with Emily. I am looking forward to it. Something will work out!

A Global Connection - Finding Family on “Facebook”

When I was growing up in the Philippines, I was told that all Montecillos are related. A distant Montecillo ancestor settled in the northern part of the island of Cebu. Cebu is a Philippine island steeped in history. This is where Magellan landed, when lost his way to look for spices and other treasures.

Magellan was killed in the Battle of Mactan; a small island off the island of Cebu. The island chieftain, Lapu Lapu, refused to pay homage to the King of Spain. The Spaniards did not settle in the Philippines until 1565. Lapu Lapu is the first Filipino hero.

The first Spanish settlements were established in Cebu. The settlers were mostly soldiers, who married local women. That is how our family story began. My Montecillo ancestor settled in northern Cebu – Catmon, Sogod and Borbon. As the family grew, various branches moved away and settled in different parts of Cebu and other islands in the Philippines.

I belong to the clan of Pantaleon Montecillo y Menchavez. My great grandfather, Pantaleon, was the last Spanish Capitan of Catmon. His mother is a Menchavez. He was first wife to Teresa Rivera. When Lola Teresa died, he married Catalina Loyola.

To test the family story, I asked all the Montecillo members on Facebook to tell me their story. I forwarded a link featuring the Pantaleon Montecillo Clan Grand Reunion in 2006-2007. I belong to the Emilio (my grandfather) Branch of this clan.

Here is a sampling of the replies:

Era Montecillo works with the Camphill Community at Coleg Elidyr, Victoria House in Wales. She has been working there for a few years. The college educates and trains young people with special needs. She said, “Tita, that family featured in the link you sent me, is my family. I belong to the Pantaleon Montecillo Clan, Cesario Branch.” Lolo Cesar is one of my grandfather’s younger brothers from the Loyola marriage.

Ameera Ares lives and works in Qatar with her family. She wrote, “Tita, I belong to the Gervacio Branch of the Pantaleon Montecillo Clan. Tata Batyong is my grandfather.” Spain ceded the Philippines to the United States after the Spanish American War in 1898. Filipinos fought with the US troops in the First World War. Tata Batyong was a soldier in the war. He decided to stay in the US after the war. He brought his brother Emilio to Detroit in 1917. Emilio is my grandfather. During one of his trips to the Philippines, Tata Batyong married in Catmon and decided to settle there in 1926.

Frances Montecillo-Narvaez lives and works in Switzerland with her family. She wrote, “Your great grandfather, Pantaleon, was the best cousin-friend of my great grandfather, Panfilo. He named his eldest son after Pantaleon. Panfilo moved and settled in Tuburan. The family have scattered all over since their time.”

Ian Mark Schomber lives in Germany. He found out about me in Facebook. He is from the Menchavez side of the family. His mother called Cebu and told her sister-in-law, Yeldez, about me and my quest in Facebook. Yeldez immediately had her son send an e-mail confirming that we are indeed cousins. The e-mail spoke of the Menchavez family gatherings in Sogod.

This is only a sampling of the Montecillo “Facebook” connection. Most of the family is still in the Philippines. Outside the country, most of us have settled in the US and Canada, with a growing number in the Middle East, Australia and Hong Kong. An exchange of pictures and stories through Facebook, e-mails and blogs have continued to connect us. With the help of technology, I am connected to a truly globalized family.

My curiosity is leading me to find out a little bit more about the Mexican and Spanish Montecillo families. I understand they are into grassland ecology in Mexico and vineyards in Spain. This could be a lot of fun.

Keep connecting and keep the connections strong!

San Francisco Family - Taken End of 2007

My sister Jette Rojo Meehleib - she is the "prettiest" - a member of the jet set - currently attending an "International Surfing and Classic Rock Festival" in La Union, Philippines. Go figure.



Taken with brother Athan (Jonathan) and sister Jette. Athan teaches first grade and is going for his graduate degree in reading.



My San Francisco family - Nanay Julia is a Menchavez from Bawo. Nanay is superwoman -very active and into everything.



Tatay home from the hospital! I did not really get to meet him until I was 12 years old in Catmon. We did not start really connecting until I was 42 years old here in the US. We are slowly but surely getting to know each other better.

My Family - Back In The Day

Donna and I - my swimsuit caused a lot of gossip - my belly button is showing. Not a good thing to do in Catmon in the sixties!



Daddy and Mama goofing around in the water. Happier days!



Lola Bette wading in the water - near suba and Tata Batyong's payag.



This family photo was taken during one of the summers we spent in Catmon with Lola Bette.

Going To San Francisco

The Original Plan

After the last delivery for the Madonna University Christmas for Kids Project, the original plan was to sit back, relax, be with family (in Michigan), go to church and celebrate a quiet Christmas.

A Dose of Life's Realities

Received word from the family, in San Francisco, that Tatay was taken to the hospital. Tatay is in his 80's, every hospitalization is risky. At 61 years old, I have never spent Christmas with him. So I cried. It happens - when I am not in control of circumstances in my life.

Decisions, Considerations, Decisions

Had 60 families with 154 children in the background counting on having a good Christmas. Had to focus on the packing, last minute shopping and deliveries to these families.

Had not shopped for my immediate family, had very limited $$$ for travel - holiday travel in the US is expensive. The obstacles were countless, financially!

Have never spent a Christmas away from my children and grandchildren - unless they have chosen to do so. They are the most important people in my life. Have spent the last 30 Christmases with the family in Michigan!

Drafted Lauren, John, Dominic and Larry to help. I was losing focus, got lost in neighborhoods that I was familiar with. I felt very splintered and acted very scattered. I was also searching the net for cheap air fare to San Francisco. So was Frank and Lauren. The regular economy class fare to San Francisco during the holidays is over $750.00.

Donna and Frank encouraged me to go - so did Larry. What would I ever do without him and the support he provides???

So on December 23, I made the decision that if I can find affordable air fare, I would go. So, I gave the kids an "I Owe You" for Christmas when the right price came up.

I flew to San Francisco on December 24 to spend Christmas with Tatay and family, but mostly Tatay.



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Complicated - Subayon

It is complicated is often used in "Facebook" regarding relationship status.I think it means that it is difficult to explain.

I grew up being difficult to explain. I can remember the expressions;the looks in the faces when I was introduced or when someone asked about me. In my day, people were interested in family lineage.

I am the daughter of Teresa Montecillo and Juan Rojo. No, they did not marry - so I am illegitimate - a stigma I carried when I was growing up. I never felt good enough. This was very hard on me, causing alienation towards some of the gossipy branch of the PanMon Clan. It was Tata Batyong, Lola Sayong and Lola Eliang who constantly assured my inclusion as a Montecillo when I cried about it.

Tata Batyong would say things like "tell them you are a Montecillo, the rest is none of their business."

Lola Bette was also hard to explain. I was often asked where she came from - she was not Catmonanon nor Cebuano for that matter. Lolo Milong brought her to Catmon from Detroit. Although, I spent a lot of time with members of her family - she would always tell me to leave her family out of the conversation. So her family came and went, when they visited. We visited Bogo and Mabolo.

People often asked what my plans are for the holidays. I spend my holidays with family - my complicated family. Which family?

So here are pieces to the puzzle. Subayon.

Mama Teresa married Dad Ron Elliott. Mama and Daddy had Donna. So now, I have a sister on Mama's side. Dad Elliott's rule is that there are "no steps" - so Donna and I never had the "step" relationship.

I married Lee Rankine - Leto, Rosanne and Lauren are the gifts from the union.We were married for 20+ years. Lauren got together with Mike Hallam and had Dominic. Leto got together with Tracy - so came Manny Henry-Rankine. Rosanne got together with Creek Noke - so we now have Zachary and Gus Rankine-Noke. I love them all!

After Mama Teresa died,Dad Elliott married Mom Josephine Miller Currie bringing her three children - Julie, Karen and Roger. Then Michael was born. Donna married a Rhadigan and had Nicole. Then she married Frank Hayden - Garrett and Brandon came along. Nicole married Simon Haidi - their children are Mina, Gabriel and Alexander.

Julie married a Badamo and had Gina and Joey. Gina married Scott Barber. The children are Shelby, Megan and Gino.Karen married Mario Del Grecco. Michael married Carrie. Roger never married.

I have spent the last 30+ Christmases with this wonderfully blended family. I spend almost all the other American traditional family holidays with them.

I learned to "subay" from Lola Miliang de Dios and from the countless birthdays, weddings,"canta misa" ordinations and of course, funerals - mostly the Montecillo side - that we attended from Catmon to Sogod to Borbon to Naga to Tuburan to Carcar -wherever Montecillo's lived.The experiences gave me a solid Montecillo grounding.

This is where I learned that families can be very complicated but very rewarding if there is cohesion.

Tatay Juan Rojo is ill in San Francisco - I have never spent Christmas with him or my siblings on the Rojo side. Nanay Julia is a Menchavez - so I am blood related to my brothers and sisters there. On the Menchavez side, they are my cousins. I am trying to decide whether to fly out tomorrow or on Christmas Day. I am conflicted on how to allocate my meager resources of time and dollars.

I will pray - I still have three families from Christmas for Kids to finish up.

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Updates for Family Connections - aka Some of Lola Bette's Lessons

The people we serve.

Just had a snow storm - have 10 inches of snow in the ground - still some folks are outside, some find shelters for the night. God have mercy! It is cold out there - yes,some of them die from exposure or from fires. They try to find shelter in abandoned homes - yes, we have a lot of those also! Go figure????

I see some of them at the soup kitchens - times are hard in Michigan.

Have 58 families for the Madonna University Christmas for Kids Project - about 162 children. These are the left behinds of our consumer society, the excluded from the holiday cheer in the packed malls - they watch television and see excess. And wish and hope!

I have a couple of students combing the malls and stores for gifts and groceries!

I wanted to win the Lotto - so all the people on my list plus Sr. Caroline's 500+ families and Ms. Rodriguez's 100+ have hope for the holidays. My friend brought me down to reality, very quickly - Larry said that if I had the money - I would still be broke because I will always give stuff away.

My standard reply is: "I came with nothing and I leave with nothing," Lola Bette used to say that.

Among the things she told me is that "all people placed in your life are gifts from God - so you better be kind, nice, etc... because they could be angels as in the story of Abraham of the old testament or Jesus in disguise as in the gospels." So how can I argue with that???

It is the same the world over - need, want, wish, hope - lines are blurred. Most people look away - I can't seem to do that - never developed the capacity to look away from injustice and misery!

I try to train students to look at misery and poverty without flinching or running away - it is the only way that we can collectively define the problem, get to the root causes and find solutions.Acts of love are very scarce yet essential in finding solutions.You know doing, something for nothing - no expectations,no strings,suspend all judgenment, etc.

Am I a dreamer or what?

When I was young - we never really had presents but we had a lot of joy and laughter.The best part was "panaygon." We went from house to house and sang Christmas carols.

My godparents - Papa Abog Concha and Mama Uping used to give me a few centavos plus "puso" and whatever else they had to offer. The others who remembered me were my godmother, Mama Natang Roldan, Tio Dido Flores and Tios Doring Flores. One year Auntie Mafe Ares brought me apples and grapes, another year raisins and prunes. That was before she came to the states - same with Mama Natang.

What I really wanted for Christmas were parents - on given days in December, I used to go to the beach and watch for the white ship coming in from Manila and hope, pray and wish that my parents were on it - coming to claim me forever. At least one of them anyway. My idea of parents were very sketchy in my mind. My ideal parent was Tia Ason Estenzo.

I am eating Divine Chocolates - Fair Trade chocolate from Ghana as I write this. I wonder about the children there and what their Christmas is like. The chocolates are excellent - especially the dark ones - reminds me of the "chocolate bits" that Mana Nene Villamor used to give me when she was making "tabliya." Heavenly!

My life is good and full.

Dominic performed in his school Christmas Concert last Thursday - Dad Elliott's birthday. He had a saxophone solo and played a very nice rendition of Oh Canada! The only saxophone solo - I might add. Dominic wants a router for his computer and Xbox 360??? It does not sound like a Christmas gift - sounds like an equipment used by th IT department.

Leto and Manny came to see me yesterday - Leto just finished a short story about one of his adventures in Catmon with Jonald Concha - written in Spanish, no less. Manny wanted a Wiii for Christmas - can't seem to find one.

Zachary had a birthday yesterday but I haven't been able to talk to him. He wanted a Wiii??? for birthday and Christmas. They are hard to come by these days.

With the help of the Madonna University community, family and friends,I hope to give each child on the CFK list an article of clothing, a toy and a book, the family food for the holidays.

Is this too much to ask from the wealthiest, best educated population this world has ever known.

Merry Christmas to all Montecillo/Rivera/Menchavez/Loyola folks wherever you are! I am thankful that I have family like you!Keep me in your prayers, okay?

Geography Makes a Difference

I am at Lauren's house in Garden City. Slept in the living room couch, woke up saw wall; peeked through blinds, saw street. Peeked at backyard as I drink my first cup of coffee and saw the deck dusted with snow, the yard bounded by the fence in three sides. I go for my walk - all flat, no hills. Garden City Park has lots of trees, walking pathways are made of concrete. The house is warm with love.

At home in Northville, I wake up; windows wide open, the view of the lake and gorgeous sunrises coming over the hill greet me. Have no kitchen window but I watch the lake and the hills beyond as I drink my cup of java in the living room. Sometimes I say my rosary. When I go for my walk, there are hills, mud in the footpaths when it rains. I am alone a lot but not lonely.

In summer when I am walking on top of one of the hills, I think about May and the kalumboyan and Cogon; where I watch the sea from afar and listen to the rustle of cogon grass stroked by the winds of May. Peaceful and soothing.

Now, the lake is rimmed with snow. It is half way frozen - in the the shallow parts mostly - soon almost all of the top will be frozen; ice - a couple of feet deep - the shanties of the ice fishermen will appear, spoiling my view.

I take ownership of the geography that surrounds me. I like to feel part of it all.

I have spent much of my childhood by the sea, in the sea, watching the sea in Catmon; listening to the music of the waves, a symphony with a variety of movements. Being in the water is like being one with the symphonic creation.

The beauty of the geographies are different but still beauty.

Have studied the changes in the geography through the seasons - the tableau seem to nourish my soul and renew my spirit. I think about the wondrous God Creator, steadfast but always changing - I, too, one of His Creations is always changing.

Grief, and Life Goes On

Fonda believed in serving. She worked very diligently for the victims of Hurricane katrina. Fonda (yellow) and Mary Therese - Americorps/VISTA.



Fonda at the MCC Service Leadership Camp. Fonda is a very thoughtful person.

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Fonda was in a car accident on Tuesday - we had our first real snow - some sleet, makes very treacherous driving.




Fonda did not make it - all her organs were harvested and donated. She will live on in others both physically and in spirit. God rest her sooul!

Abnormal Month, First Snow, Freedom

Well - we had flurries a couple of weeks ago - the warm weather have lasted a long time. The first snow came - a dusting at Thanksgiving, a little that stuck or at least covered the grass yesterday - temperature in the 20's. So it is getting cold.

I hate wearing coats, I hate wearing layers of clothes, I hate wearing boots most of all. But had to break it all out to prep for winter.

Freedom - got my car back - driving again - I just wanted to drive and drive and drive today. I hate driving!

Sounds like I am pretty stressed - too many projects going. It is that time of year. Having the panels of the "The Names Project AIDS Quilt" on display here tomorrow and Friday. The "Christmas for Kids Project" is going have 8 families so far, have the "Students Helping Students" T-shirt and Bag Sale starting, having a Fair Trade Sale next week, have papers to read and check, meetings to attend, etc...

Have 3 students losing their homes - the foreclosure rate is very high in the area. Students needing help to register for next term. Students needing placements for last minute community service and service learning projects.December grads needing recommendations in their portfolios and resumes.

So relax - breathe slowly now - in and out, in and out.

Although I think December is the most abnormal of all months, - it is normal December in life. It is a normal December for me in my job.

Thanksgiving Aftermath, Sock Story and All That

Oh, Oh, Oh - still in my pajamas - have not made it to church, have eaten too much and have become laggard.Discovered that I did not bring enough clothes - so had to wash what I wore - still in the dryer.

The Thanksgiving feasts here at Lauren's and at Nicki's were sinfully great and excessive.Now comes the leftover days - add the "bring house" leftovers from Nicki's and John's family party - we are grazing on the food.

John did break down last night and made hamburgers. He also cooked bacon and eggs for breakfast but then warmed up the apple cobbler from his sister's house - pure gluttony.

I finished one of the books I was reading - "The Elephant and The Dragon" by Robyn Meredith. Got caught up with my work e-mail - just the reading part. Checked on my Facebook and updated some stuff, got caught up with some of my groups, events, projects and sent some greetings.

Working with my beading.I design and make beaded jewelry. I started in my teen years taking "jewelry making classes" in Japan and have just started back up. It is hard to "design on the fly" and make the jewelry right away. It is hard to make time.

Had a big argument with Dominic last night - he cried and I cried - sometimes things are said that shouldn't be said - and we both did. It is hard to raise assertive, opinionated,outspoken lawyers. Sometimes the line of respect is blurred and crossed. We kissed and made up.

Been for a couple of short walks - Garden City holds a special place for me. I served as the Executive Director of the Garden City Chamber of Commerce for over a year, before my divorce. A lot of fond and happy memories in this town - lived here for 14 years...

The "sock story" - my sister or was it my sisters and I were going shopping or something. I have never gotten into the "dressing/make-up/primping business" and would usually throw on my back whatever I can get my hands on. So,I put my shoes on even though my socks did not match, much to my sisters' "chagrin" and they say "embarrassment."

Well,dryers love to eat my socks one sock at a time.I hate to throw away the remaining sock - I think it is wasteful and bad for the environment. So I keep them and wear them.

Socks are worn under shoes, boots, pants - and who is going to be interested in my socks - I am sure the "Fashion Police" have better things to do - besides I am too busy with other more important things.

So there you are and here I am - always trying to be the best person I can be like Lola Bette taught me.